Blogging it out

I have read and watched a lot of things about blogs most of them are amazing. Well for me it is. This is the one place in my life where I am truly myself, sad isn't it. To me it's not yesterday I am very depressed but then when I blogged it out I felt much better and I was able to sleep and it was a good sleep so I am glad that I found out about blogging.

though I wish I could be this gutsy in real life and I hope that I will be but that is going to take a lot of time and hard-work which is going to be difficult.

I used to be a very hard worker but somewhere along the way that part of me disappeared and I am left with my lazy self. I try to fight against it but as I said it is difficult on top of that just because I am staying at home and not doing actual studying my brother and sister think that I am their worker of something. They want me do their  homework and help them separate questions about this or that. But I don't do to mainly for the reason that when I was their age I did all my work myself and when I asked for their help they didn't do a thing.

So in turn neither am I.

I am someone who believes in equality and being fair but they don't get that and I can't make them understand so I am left with what I feel is right. I am the only one in my family who feels that way, no one else is like me. Being unique is good but this is not one of those cases, this is where being unique or different sucks because no one understands me or what I feel or what I am going through. They take the fake smiling me as the real me and well I have nothing to say about that.

I also don't have a real friend who understand. See here the concept of a best friend who is there all the time through thick and thin and who is attached to your hip is not well for lack of better words in fashion. If you have a friend then that friend will stay with you only in school and only a few out of school interactions otherwise you are to consider your family as your best friend or so that is the case with my family.

So suffice to say I have no real friend, though I really wish I had one maybe then I would be a different person and not so closed off to everyone.