My heart aches, so bad. When the family talks about studies among themselves I feel like it is a jibe at me even though its not. I hurt so bad. In moments like these I wish I wasn't here or somewhere else.
They talk about the future, the year that I wasted according to them. Those are the times I feel like crying. I get really quite when they talk about this maybe they haven't noticed but I do. So quiet. One day I feel the loneliness and quiet I surround around myself will engulf me whole and I will be no more. No more than a distant memory of a quiet girl who kept to herself. A girl who disappeared one day but no one knows how or where.
I wish that I could be better. I lost, so lost. Lost without any hope of being found. I am a book that no one can understand. Too complicated, too jumbled. I am a book that is lost to all those except to the one who wrote it. I wish, oh how I wish someone would pick me up and try to understand me despite my faults.
I can feel myself crumbling within myself. I can feel my hopes shattering sometimes. I can see my dreams flying away without me and I hurry to reach them but they're too far.
Fight. Fight. Fight. I have to fight.
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